I can honestly say that it has been too long since I have visited deviant art. I unfortunately need to confess that my stamina as a working artist has been fading for some time now. It has been at least a full year since I have created a decent piece of artwork and/or since I have even truly attempted to do so. Luckily, I feel that for the first time in a while my slump may be coming to an end. I may not be able to create exactly what I want at first, but I realize that in order to get to that place I must just simply WORK! So I am. It's odd, being an artist is somewhat (at least for me) like being in a relationship: at first you are excited, nervous and just exhilerated to be on this amazing journey. You are learning quickley about your passion and each newfound skill is like a surprising little kiss; it's almost like having butterflies constantly fluttering in your mind. Then as you progress you strengthen your bond and your skills. You find your "sweet spot" and feel like you are just able to glide on your masterful wings. Ohh...but how wrong you are, for just like in any relationship there is no smooth sailing it will always and forever be work, good hard earned work. I hit a peak and I got complacent. I thought I could just come and go as I please and that my imagination and skill would be there waiting for me on a silver platter. NO. It is work. A good kind of work and when things click and the stars align there is joy, fulfillment and a true connection to yourself that is unlike any other experience. I thought I had lost myself, that I maybe was not really an artist that maybe I just liked the idea of it. You would think any "real" artist would need to work no matter what, but I simply didn't want to. So...I tried to set goals for myself (even though I knew I wouldn't achieve them) to try to force myself back into doing work. That clearly did not work nor did it help. I had to want it, and for some reason I didn't. It is one of the worst feelings I have ever felt. I realize now that in order for me to want to work I have to feel as if it's important to me and not just for the sake of doing work. Now all I need is the "important" factor to be in my favor...but how? You can't force things to be important either. Well I decided that if I was going to care about anything I would have to at least allow myself to get my feet wet. So, I still am very weary of making "bad" art, but I will do my best to push through and really allow myself to actually develop instead of expecting a certain level of perfection each and every time I attempt to put my pen to the paper. I can whole heartedly agree that doing what one really wants to do in life is no trivial task but a life's pursuit; full of trials and numerous tribulations and an even greater amount of failures and restarts!